2012: The year of Square-Enix?
2012. The year of dragon. The year of the apocalypse. An Olympic year. An election year. The year that vampires inherit the earth
Nintendo 3DS Ambassador GBA Games Now Available
If you spent $250 on your Nintendo 3DS
The games aren't available directly through the Nintendo eStore, though. If you want to get them, you need to go into the eStore, then into the Menu, then into Other Settings, then into Redownload Games. The games will be added to the list of games you already downloaded to the 3DS, and if you have a big library, you might have to scroll down some.
Instead of downloading each game individually, you can save time by selecting "Download Later," which lets you queue up the games to download over SpotPass while you're doing other things. You still need to select each game, but it's a bit faster and much more convenient.
The games are:
- Mario Kart: Super Circuit
- F-Zero
- Yoshi's Island: Super Mario Advance 3
- Fire Emblem
- WarioWare: Mega Microgames
- Metroid Fusion
- Kirby and the Amazing Mirror
- Mario vs. Donkey Kong
- The Legend of Zelda: Minish Cap
- Wario Land 4
It's a pretty impressive list, and better for more than nostalgia, like the mostly-Black Box early NES games released for the ambassador program.
Mario Kart 7: New Game, Same Powerslide
Mario Kart is now on the 3DS, adding to the growing pile of games that actually justify buying the system. Mario Kart 7
That said, let's at least try to review this thing.
Many Marios Mob Manhattan: Super Mario 3D Land Comes to Times Square
Okay, a picture of Mario kissing Peach in Times Square would have been much better, but how can I resist a squad of Marios heroically raising a flag?
Saturday, Nintendo held a huge event at Times Square for Super Mario 3D Land. They built an entire Mario course on Military Island, with trampolines, blocks, pipes, and giant piranha plants (statues). You already know that Nintendo was giving away some awesome and ridiculous tanuki tails and ears, but the swag was only part of it. Get a look at the course, and the trained Mario free runners who ran through it, below.
Greatest Nintendo Event Swag Ever: Mario Tanuki Ears and Tail
Nintendo usually goes big with its events, but I wasn't expecting the sort of thing it did today with its Super Mario 3D Land launch event. Mario took over Times Square, turning Military Island (the plaza next to the police station and recruitment center) into a huge Mario course. There will be more on that soon, but for now let's focus on what they were giving away: a mustache, tanuki ears, and a giant tanuki tail.
The Tanuki tail is like a huge beanbag with a belt. When you put it on, it bounces a bit and stays lifted slightly. You can spin attack people and really irritate them with it. The ears are soft and covered in felt, on a headband that's also covered in felt. The moustache is the only thing that seems like it won't last more than one use. The tanuki gear are joining my Mario hat in the Closet of Nerdy Swag.
Super Mario 3D Land Will Shame You
I wish I was kidding, but Super Mario 3D Land has actively taken pity on me. It'll take pity on you, too, and shame you in the most unspeakable way. It's more of Nintendo's casual-friendly approach of "making the game stupidly easy in the stupidest way," taken to a horrible extreme.
If you die enough times on a level (between 6 and 8), the game creates a Pity Block. It's a flashing block that makes a glowing raccoon leaf. If you pick up that leaf, you become Raccoon Mario... with unlimited invincibility. Yes, this game doesn't simply hold your hand or show you how to win. It turns on god mode for you.
Does it disable star coins, or mark levels you beat it with a scarlet S, for You Suck As A Gamer? No. You don't get penalized at all. There is no record of your failure. There is no punishment. There is no way to even keep track which levels you had to lose through. There is just your crippling shame and the gnawing uncertainty of the entire game and your ability as a gamer.
I'm fine with giving casual players a way to see all the game (or most of the game) without much effort. It's fine to give them an autopilot and let them beat the game. But to get everything in the game, including those star coins that basically show you how good you are at playing, is just wrong. Take out the coins. Put a mark on the level. Put something there to show when you take the easy way out. The shame is so much worse when only you're aware of it.
Pokemon Rumble Blast: It’s a Game About Toys About a Game.
The word "meta," or at least the modern, popular use of it, seems to be the best word to describe Pokemon Rumble Blast for the Nintendo 3DS. It takes Pokemon, the game series that spawned tons of cartoons, cards, toys, and other things, makes up a new Pokemon toy line based on the series, then makes a game based on the made-up toy line. From a storytelling perspective, it's the Pokemon Centipede. It's not bad, but its concept is very bizarre for a game that's basically Gauntlet with Pokemon.
Tetris Axis: Like Tetris DS, But Less Necessary
Did you know there's a new Tetris game out for the 3DS? Tetris Axis is the newest Tetris game available, and it brings 3D graphics to the block-dropping series. I know, when you think of 3D and Tetris, you think of those horrible 3D Tetris games that were hard to control on the PC. Well, don't worry. The 3D isn't a game-crippling change of perspective that shows why Tetris only works on a two-dimensional plane, it's only an incredible unnecessary effect that shows why Tetris only works on a two-dimensional plane.
Tetris Axis is a decent compilation of Tetris game types developed by Hudson Soft and published by Nintendo, but compared to the stellar (and actually Nintendo-themed) Tetris DS, it falls flat. The two best things I can say about Tetris Axis is that it has regular Tetris and that's always fun, and it's only $30.
Kirby Mass Attack: Massively Multi-Kirby
Kirby's the little guy among Nintendo's main, first-party characters (not counting Pit "Chuck Cunningham" Icarus). He's not as beloved as the plumber, the bounty hunter, or the elf, or even the furry space fighter pilot. Still, he's managed to consistently be in solid games ever since his first appearance. After years of sucking up enemies and spitting them back out, Kirby got a bit of a change in Kirby's Epic Yarn
Kirby Mass Attack
BIT.TRIP SAGA: Beautiful And Fun, But Commander Video Still Freaks Me Out
I admit it, I'm new to the whole BIT.TRIP thing. I didn't pay much attention to the games when they first came out because I thought they were just artsy indie games with blocky graphics and chiptunes music and sound effects. That and Commander Video freaks me out. He's faceless and disproportionate, like an Atari Slender Man. Still, after the bitterness of Star Fox 64 3D and the desire to keep my 3DS valid, I picked up BIT.TRIP SAGA
Well, jackpot. BIT.TRIP SAGA doesn't have any extra content like BIT.TRIP Complete on the Wii, but all six BIT.TRIP games together alone justify the $40 price tag of a retail 3DS game.
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