Angry Birds needs to stop. It’s become a Simpsons-in-early-90s-level fad. Or tamagotchi-in-late-90s-level fad. Or pogs-for-that-one-week-in-the-mid-90s-level fad. It’s not just a casual game that became popular like Bejeweled, Peggle, or your-Zynga-game-of-choice. It’s a multimedia phenomenon. And I’m getting freaking sick of it. At Best Buy, they have Angry Birds iPhone cases, headphones, and speakers. At Toys R Us, they have giant plush Angry Birds. And at Forbidden Planet (and stores normal people shop at), they have Angry Birds Fruit Gummis. I’m getting tired of Angry Birds, but I love a good gummi candy, so I got a box.

These Angry Birds Fruit Gummis are made by Healthy Food Brands, manufactured in Mexico, and put in four collectible Angry Birds boxes with birds or a pig cut-out. The gummis themselves are red (cherry), red (strawberry), yellow (lemon), blue (raspberry), green (apple), and black (grape), all shaped like a different Angry Birds character. You get a generous handful in the $2 candy box.

I was going to describe each candy and give it a review, but I can’t, because they all taste pretty much the same. These are the blandest gummi candies I’ve ever eaten. I’m not making a joke about casual gaming; these are genuinely bland. Each candy is just vaguely sweet with a slight aftertaste of the flavor it’s supposed to be, or the color related to the flavor it’s supposed to be. The apple gummi tastes like a holistically diluted shot of Pucker, the lemon candy tastes like a slightly lemony bit of rubber cement, and I thought the blue gummi was a somewhat recognizable candy blueberry until I looked at the box and saw that it was raspberry. These gummis are made with real fruit juice like Chef Boyardee has a full serving of vegetables in each can. It might be technically true based on our loose standards, but it’s fundamentally wrong.

I usually love gummi candies, but these I didn’t feel like finishing. Give me some Haribo gold bears, give me some Sour Patch Kids, give me generic drug store gummi worms, but at least they all have some kind of flavor. There’s just nothing to the Angry Birds gummis besides the brand recognition.