Let’s talk about America. Specifically, America video games. No, not American video games, but America video games. Games that truly embrace the spirit of this country and how freaking awesome it is. Games that barf the 80′s. Games that explode for no reason. Games that could have their entire soundtrack replace with the song “America (Fuck Yeah).” It’s that kind of list.

Just Cause 2

Few things are more America than intelligence operatives messing around in Central/South America and South Asia. Just Cause 2 is less about doing the right thing for the Asian nation of Panau and more about setting up the area so the U.S. can reap all the strategic and resource benefits from it when the dust settles. Freedom isn’t free. Sometimes you need to pay CIA spooks and mercenaries to mess up the joint before you can enjoy that tasty, tasty freedom. Don’t worry, this is the only particularly depressing/divisive item on the list. Everything else is pure, mindless America.

Fallout 3

A game where America is destroyed by a nuclear war after China’s invasion of Alaska might not seem very America… until you meet the Brotherhood of Steel in the Capitol Wastelands. They took the Pentagon as their base, and they rebuilt America’s unused secret weapon, Liberty Prime. Liberty Prime is a 50 foot tall red white and blue robot that shouts communism-bashing catchphrases while throwing nuclear bombs like they’re footballs. Liberty Prime is made of a special alloy, and that alloy is America.

Freedom Force Vs. The Third Reich

Freedom Force was already a pretty America game, with tons of silver age-style superheroes fighting threats to the country with ridiculous powers and car-throwing force. Freedom Force Vs. The Third Reich went further by having your team, including the tricorner-hat-wearing Minuteman, fight the Axis powers and the USSR. This is a game where Minuteman and Liberty Lad face off against Blitzkreig, Nuclear Winter, and Red Oktober. And all of it is for America.

Bad Dudes

Any game where you not only rescue the president, but he says you should go get burgers with him when you win is awesome. When that president is Ronald Reagan (In the arcade version; the NES version was George Bush)? Pure America. You can be a bad dude and rescue the president, as long as you beat the shit out of ninjas and something something American flag.

Metal Wolf Chaos

This is the most America game ever, and it was never released in America. No, this game, made by those mad geniuses at From Software and published by Microsoft (Microsoft decided not to release this game in America), only came out in Japan. Which is sad, because everything about this game is insane and awesome.

You play the president, who has to fight the vice president in his giant robot. Which starts the game by jumping out of the front of the White House as the entire facade of the building explodes. His robot has a ton of different guns, which are giant rifles his robot holds like he’s Second Amendmentron, and everything blows up. It’s like Japan wrote about the presidency of George W. Bush while watching G Gundam and only vaguely skimming newspaper headlines.