Cube Warfare: Marshmallow Blasters
Foam darts aren't the only ammunition available in cube warfare. If you're willing to look for more unique things to fling at your coworkers, the folks at the Marshmallow Fun Company might have the weapons for you. They make marshmallow blasters of various shapes and sizes, from mini marshmallow-launching bows and arrows to jumbo marshmallow shotguns.
These guns are significantly more expensive than their foam-launching counterparts, but they pack surprising power into their pricey frames. I put the Bow and Mallow, Marshmallow Crossbow, and Marshmallow Blaster through their paces. Most guns are available in different colors and finishes, including the brand's standard red and blue color scheme, a camouflage finish, and a chromed "executive" finish.
The Executive Marshmallow Blasteris a one-shot jumbo marshmallow launcher that puts a surprising amount of oomph behind its shots with a manual air pump. Pump the handle on the gun a few times like it's a Super Soaker and the marshmallow will fly a few dozen feet. Unfortunately, while it's quite powerful, it feels flimsy. Don't let the chrome finish fool you; the blaster is entirely plastic, and the front handle (which pivots up so you can load marshmallows) waggles when you're aiming.
The two bows are much more impressive, because they're actual bows/crossbows. They don't use the same spring or air pump mechanisms as other guns, and just tie a string to a pair of fake prods to make them "bows." They actually use the tension of the string and the prods to fire the marshmallows, giving them a ton of kick.
The Bow and Mallow fires mini-marshmallows, and uses a clear plastic tube hopper so you can load about ten marshmallows and fire them rapidly. Just pull the plunger back, take aim, and let go. Mini marshmallows fly out at a pretty good pace. The hole through which the marshmallows fly are perfectly sized for Nerf darts, so you can use the Bow and Mallow as a genuine Nerf dart bow and arrow without any modifications.
The Marshmallow Crossbow isn't as flexible as the Bow and Mallow, but it's a bit more intimidating. It uses the same string-and-prod concept as the bow, but adds a lock to the plunger so you can cock the entire gun and then fire it off with the pistol trigger. The string tension is much greater, and it can take a fair amount of arm strength to pull the plunger back enough to cock the gun. When you finally fire, it's loud, and the large marshmallows fly pretty far.
Amusingly, the instructions to the blasters warn you not to eat any marshmallows you fire with them. Presumably this is because the marshmallows will fall on the floor and get all covered with dust and dirt. That's reasonable. Also, sadly, between muzzle velocity and the time it takes for marshmallows to ignite, there's no feasible way to make a marshmallows-as-flaming-arrows modification to the bow or crossbow. A really shame, as I was hoping to invent ballistic s'mores.




